Transitions…

When I think about transitions, I think about the picture on this post… This is a picture of my cousin and myself (I’m the one in the orange shirt getting hosed by the squirt-gun) having a water gun fight. What started as a simple and fun squirt-gun fight ended up being a serious game of strategy and purpose. In preteen ministry we must find the balance of making ministry to preteens simple and fun to something that is strategic and with purpose. The tricky part is transitioning from one mindset to the other, because it is easy to loose one mindset for the other. In the squirt-gun fight, my cousin and I shifted gears so fast that we totally lost focus of what we originally set out to do (That was shoot at our kids). When we got serious I lost interest, because I wasn’t ready for serious strategy and such. He lost interest, because I didn’t want to have a serious outlook to what we were doing. Our transition from one extreme to next was all messed-up, so we lost interest and quit. This happens too many preteens when it comes to their walk with God and their interest and involvement in church. This is why one of the keywords that is the backdrop, motivation and driving force for preteen ministry is “TRANSITION.”

While a big part of preteen ministry is focused on reaching preteens where they are currently at, a lot of what happens in preteen ministry is geared towards preparing kids for the next level, whether that is preparing them for the 6th grade ministry, Jr. high/Middle school ministry, the student ministry, or preparing them to leave elementary ministry and enter into preteen ministry (This all depends on how your church is structured by grading and grouping). The reason for this is that the preteen years are by nature a transitional time in a person’s life: puberty starts to take transformation in many preteens lives (Yes, this includes the smelly odors and such). The way preteens start to think is also beginning to transform, such as from concrete thinking to abstract thinking. Emotionally and spiritually, preteens begin to transform their thinking about the opposite genders, friends, and God in more serious ways than before. What’s funny is that I have had some people tell me that not all preteens begin to show or demonstrate these changes. However, that is the funny nature of preteens – they are all over the place, they are all at many different transitional starting points in life!

Research has shown that poor transition leads to many kids not connecting with key relationships or the identity of the ministry at the next level they are entering into. What this means is that they will eventually fade from that ministry and most likely loose their connection with God. What we must do as leaders is make transition for preteens, who are both entering in our ministries and exiting our ministries, purposeful, intentional, and exciting (ie… full of anticipation). Over the next couple of blogs, I will shown you what we do at my church, I will show you what others are doing, and I will give you ideas on what you can do in your situation. Please feel free to chime in on this discussion – which is so important to preteen ministry.

Joe

Funny Things Preteens Say…

The other day my wife over heard my 11 year old son say something hilarious. He said, “A pack of paper – $1.99, pack of straws – $.99, spit-wade – priceless!” Apparently he said this after he spit a spit-wade at his sisters – what to do, what to do…

Then to top it all off, my 9 year old asked her older sister (Who is 13) if she wanted her fries. She said, “Angelica, do you want my fries – they come with free ketchup!” She will be a very successful salesperson some day.

Preteens – they sure keep a house full of laughter and life.

Joe

THE ANATOMY OF KILLING A WASP One day a friend ca…

THE ANATOMY OF KILLING A WASP

One day a friend called and asked if I would come over and kill a wasp that was flying all crazy in her house. Her husband was at work and she was afraid to be in her house, so my wife and I got in our car and drove to her house.

When we got there, I noticed that her nephew was there, I not sure how old he is, but what I noticed was that he was eager to come in the house with me and hunt down the wasp and kill it. Of course his aunt would not let him, but he wanted to any ways.

You know – many times preteens want to be and have the potential to be mature Christians that have the ability to slay the wasps in their life, but adults stop them and don’t let them in the house to learn the killing skills they need to slay the things that are trying to take them down and away from God!

At the church I minister at, I know that we are dedicated to give our preteens the “killing skills” to follow God and become all that God created them to be.

Joe

SOCCER ANYONE! It was anyone’s game, both teams e…

SOCCER ANYONE!

It was anyone’s game, both teams exchanging goals, one right after the other. Elbows were flying, hard kicks were connecting too both, shins and the ball. Oxygen was in short supply and sweat ran off the combatants like a roaring river. The battle was intense as contestants from both teams jockeyed for postion and the victory!What’s more, this fiercely fought match went down to the wire.

No! I am not talking about a match-up from the World Cup of Soccer, nor am I talking about some Major League Soccer game! Instead, I am talking about “The Edge”, the youth soccer team that Christ’s Church of Oronogo sponsors and the hard fought soccer game that they played yesterday at King Jack Park in Webb City, MO. Our preteen ministry came about sponsoring a team, when “The Bridge” (A unique skateboard ministry that reaches out to youth and others) contacted out Children’s Ministry about sponsoring a team in their newly started youth soccer league. Our ministry is going to sponsor pre-K team, a K-4th grade team and our preteen (5th-6th grade) ministry is doing so as well (Thus, the team name “The Edge”). When the opportunity came for us to help support our community, we were more than willing. This opportunity not only gives us a chance to love and encourage some of our kids and their families outside of church, but it also helps us reach out and connect with families that we do not know. We also tell the kids in our ministry to go out and support out team.

What does your preteen ministry do to get involved in your community? Post your ideas and I will post them in a blog.

Joe

ALONG FOR THE RIDE… One of the things that is a…

ALONG FOR THE RIDE…

One of the things that is a part of my responsibilities at the church that I minister at, is to help out in the Jr. High ministry in some capacity, or basically make sure that our out going 6th graders are making a good transition from our preteen ministry into our student ministry. For me, it means that I have a really good relationship with our Jr. High minister, or that basically “He is my best friend on staff”. Fortunately, him and I get along really well. Matt is a top notch guy, who is doing great things for our Jr. High kids. The other thing that I do is get involved in some way with our Jr. High ministry.

This past month, my event that I go on with our Jr. High group as a sponsor is a week long service project event called KNOW SWEAT. I attend this event for three reasons:

1. I go to help be a positive presence for our out going 6th graders/new 7th graders, by helping be a familiar figure, as well as help them transition well.

2. I go to help build my relationship with our Jr. High minister and check-up on our new 8th graders (Which are former preteen ministry kids).

3. I go to help, because it helps me measure and gage all the things we did for the past two years with these former preteens, by observing our former 6th graders in situations that call on them to be leadrs and to act more mature.

I do this with all intentionality, what do you do to help you measure the growth of your preteens?

Joe

Knowing the Who, What, and Why of Your Preteen Min…

Knowing the Who, What, and Why of Your Preteen Ministry

Over the next three days, I will be leading some workshops about preteen ministry at a ministry conference. One of the areas that I will touch on is having a vision for preteen ministry.

I would like to hear about the vision that you have for your preteen ministry. Let me know why your preteen ministry exist – I bet most of us will have similar visions!

Joe

So I took a jump – this is a really big jump. I ha…

So I took a jump – this is a really big jump. I have been dreaming of doing something like this for about 5 years now. It is a really big jump for me, because I am not that computer and website savvy. I have decided to create a website that will serve two purposes or more (?). One is to serve as a ParentConnect Page for our preteen ministry. The other is to serve as a very indepth resource site for people who ministry to preteens.There is not a whole lot on there now, but hopefully there will be soon. If you have any ideas or resources that you know of or are using, please let me know at the e-mail on the website. Thanks…

The website is www.preteenedge.com

Joe

“Loose lips sink ships” -Vs- “The lips of the righ…

“Loose lips sink ships” -Vs- “The lips of the righteous nourish many”

There is an old saying from one of the past great wars that went something like this, “Loose lips sink ships.” Essentially what they were saying is that careless words can cost the lives of people, so we need to use our words with caution. This is also true with those of us who work with children and youth, both figuratively and literally. I like to say that the words we use can either bring about life, or they can bring about death. We never know what effect the words we use have on people, especially on the children that we minister too.

I was confronted with this fact one Sunday morning. A former student from my ministry wrote me a card, thanking me for all the kind and encouraging words that I passed her way whenever she was in and around our ministry. She said that whenever she came to church or our preteen ministry events, everyone always spoke kindly to her and used words of love, acceptance, and encouragement towards her – she said that she always felt closer to God when she was around us. You see, Summer does not have a good home life, in fact the few times that I had gone to her home, I could hear the harsh words and tones that she experienced. At home, she never heard words that would bring life to her soul, instead she heard words that crushed her spirit and made her feel insignificant and unwanted; in a sense they brought her death. However, when Summer came around our preteen ministry staff, she heard words that nourished her soul and uplifted her spirit. She came to know that God loves her and created her with significance and purpose – God’s word brought her life!

There was another lesson to be had that day. That Sunday evening as my family and I were winding down from another busy Sunday, I walked into my youngest daughter’s bedroom and I observed that her room was a mess and not just any ordinary mess. It was the type of mess that only an eight-year-old girl, who is full of life and wonder, can create. As she sat there in a pile of crumbled-up pieces of paper, dutifully working on another masterpiece – I told her in a stern voice that her room was a pigsty and that pigs only live in them. She looked up at me with crocodile tears forming in her eyes and on her cheeks and she said to me through sobs, “Daddy, if I’m a pig, does this mean that you do not love me anymore.” My heart stopped and I grabbed her in my arms and told her that I was wrong for saying those words to her and that I loved her. That day I learned all to well that “Loose lip can sink ships” and “The lips of the righteous nourish many.”

Rated G – No Way! Okay, here is the situation. Ye…

Rated G – No Way!

Okay, here is the situation. Yesterday, in one our 5th grade boy’s Sunday school class, we always have “What’s the latest” discussion time at the beginning of class. Well for most of the fourteen 5th grade boys in room 5B, the latest was the movie “CARS”. Several of the boys were excited about the movie and some of the boys said they hated it. Well I did care for a couple of the boys attitude when they said that, so I went on an investigative search of why they didn’t like the movie CARS. After several questions, what I found out was that the boys who said they hated it, DIDN’T EVEN SEE THE MOVIE! The only reason why they did not like it, was because the movie was rated G and G ratings to these boys are not cool. However, when asked by their fearless preteen minister (me) if they liked such and such movie, the sais they did and that it was awesome and one of their favorite movies, until I reveiled it to them that it was rated G as well. Hmm, sometimes I can be a stinker because I used that moment as a teaching moment on “be slow to speak and quick to listen.”

It seems coolness and peer presure are getting younger and younger!

Joe

PART 3 THE END Okay, okay here it is! We have be…

PART 3 THE END

Okay, okay here it is! We have been conducting an Education Forum at the church I am on staff at, which included a few hand-pick staff members, whose job it was to rethink education churchwide. CCO is a decent size church (about 2300 people), so paradigms have shifted. Everything was on the chopping block, so to speak, and I mean everything! We were forced to take this measure, because even though we are in a somewhat rural setting, cultural has drastically changed. Even though culture is not as fast paced as it is in California (I am from the San Fransico Bay area, CA. I moved to southwest Missouri 5 years ago), it has become very rushed and busy, especially for families. Therefore, causing church events and programming to conflict or add to the other activities our families are involved in. Something has to change! We as a church want to build bridges to our community, but instead of wanting the community to cross over to us, we want to cross over to our community. In other words, we want our families to influence their neighbors, friends, and family members for Christ, by going into the community they are already involved in; whether it be at Little league practice, afterschool programs, soccer practice, etc… We can no longer expect people to pick our church activities over the other activities in their lives. They just aren’t doing it! We are forced to simplify and narrow our focus!

I tell you all this to serve as a backdrop for the changes that are going to take place in our preteen ministry.

EVENTS
Preteens by nature are social cats (I hate cats, but love preteens). Most of my preteen ministry budget dollars are invested in the events category. We do alot of events for them, such as a fall retreat, a summer preteen road trip, Superstart, Believe, camp, and the list could go on. All of these events are very purposeful and have been successful, drawing large crowds and have brought about life change for some of our preteens. However, we don’t need to do all of these events – So I am cutting some of the events out and redoing a couple of the others. In all we will do a total of four event, not including camp or our large summer outreach event (we do not do VBS). With this narrowed focus, we hope to be able to make the events that we do, more excellent and effective.

SUNDAYS
Are made for worship (haha)! Anyways, we did have programming for all three services. We did a computer lab during the first service, we did a more traditional Sunday school format the second hour, and then we had a preteen worship hour at our third hour service. Here is what we are doing and (already do in our preteen worship hour, during third service): We are going to no longer offer anything for preteens during the first hour (This means no more computer lab… Reasons why, will be discussed in another blog). We are moving in the direction of having two preteen worship services – one will be during the second hour (No more traditional Sunday school… Hate me all you want) and third hour services. Here is what they look like:

Each hour is sliced into four blocks:
The Hangout time 15 minutes- Students and leaders come into The Edge and hangout, playing foosball, air hockey, Game cubes, and catch up on what’s been going in their lives.

The Connection time 15-20 minutes – Worship time (We use a live band). This is when preteens will here announcements, focus on the music aspect of worship, drama skits, video clips, and etc…

The Point time 10-15 minutes - This is the teaching time. A 10 to 15 minute sermon will introduce the point that we want our preteens to learn that week.

The So What time 15-20 minutes – This is small group time. This is where preteens will be divided by grade and gender to discuss the teaching point and how it applies to their world, but they will build community with each other, by talking about life in general and share what is going on in their lives with their small group friends and adult leaders.

The rest of the remaining time is hangout and wait for parent pick-up or released to meet parents.

For the sake of room, I will talk about Wednesday night programming in another blog. What I gave here, is programming and formating. I will also be blogging about philosophy, curriculum and reasons why we are doing things this way, later on.

Joe